walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize