When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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