In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
