the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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