i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
