good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
