maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
