I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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