So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
