i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
