Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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