What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
