he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
