are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
BRING THE BAGELS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
