Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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