i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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