took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
