i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
