I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
nutella sex= disaster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
