I hate all girls vehemently.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
