I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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