lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
