you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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