I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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