She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
