hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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