umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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