I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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