marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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