We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
