His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
