Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
