Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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