Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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