is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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