im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
