Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
