no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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