she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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