everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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