please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
