they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
