Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize