do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hippo gnu deer
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
