We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
