I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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