For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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