I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
