My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
