he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize