its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had sex on a dog bed..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
