No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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