just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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