You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
