I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
