I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
