You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
