That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
