Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize