i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
