i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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