I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize