She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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