The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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