Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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