I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
