trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize