So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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