end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
