Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
