I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
