Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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