I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My ass is underappreciated
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
