Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found puke in my bra..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
