is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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