im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
