what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
