He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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