bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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