My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
