his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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