is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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