you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
