is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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