i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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