We're facebook friends in real life
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
